I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
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I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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