this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
