I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
