what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
organizing the empties. That sober.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize