So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
