Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize