Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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