Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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