it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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