my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
