There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
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