So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
