My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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