I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
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and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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