Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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