i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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