i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
