he shaved USA in his pubs
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Holy sore nipples Batman
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
ok first of all what the fuck
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize