I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
