i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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