Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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