I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
