You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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