have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
