Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
