Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
