i think i have two assholes
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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