I wish life had little blips of pornography
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
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