I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think people are normalizing furries
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize