There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
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He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
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I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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