Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
