big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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