Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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