I must be too annoying 4 u.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
