dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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