Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
a search helicopter?!
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
