There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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