Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
