just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
