I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
