and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
