I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
