Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
