I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
