FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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