Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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