dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
