i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
