dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
