It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
