i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
