clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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