i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize