I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize